it's a super hero kind of thing

all the marvel comic rip-off movies must be getting to me...

it's been a day and night of nigh-what-ifs... i feel a bit like clark kent watching superman's life unfold...or is that the other way around? (and what was wonder woman's mortal name? i forgot.)

situations at work in medias res, part of me interested, part disinterested. an observer witholding and yet somehow unable to withhold judgement. it's like i'm suspended, moving away while still part, the child leaving the mother; foreign to the situation, an innocent bystander with a wallop of an opinion in reserve. and that friend's ex i mentioned... he called me. he wants more... my action hero intuition pricked, my ears raised. something inside my head, near the back, shifts.

hm.

an interesting development it telegraphs to the rest of my brain.

the question sits unasked. why?

it sits and it sits, gaining bodyweight, like the taking steroids by osmosis.

whatever happens i won't be part of it. not at work, not after hours between my friend and her old flame. they're no longer my experiences to be having. i'll intuit happenings, or they will be told to me, or they will be kept from me, or they won't happen at all. but the workworld will continue. this this extra-curricular life that the ex- and my friend won't be telling the wife... not mine to share. i'm clark, i'm superman, i'm...just enough out of range to view from a distance. arms folded b/c to reach out is just too much.

i guess it makes sense that in the midst of leaving one world and entering a new, unknown one we gain/sense the superhero perspective, but who knew? it makes our human situations that much more extraordinary and banal. they are at once exciting and strange and powerfully human and untouchable. humanity. you can't make this stuff up.