exes and tex-mexes
had a 'date' last night with a friend and her ex-boyfriend from college. they were together for four years and haven't seen each other for the last eight-ish. weird scene. fun, but weird. i just kept running into the guy in the last few months and my friend got curious, so i set up a meeting with the dude to thank him for some advice he gave (some professions are truly outrageous in what they can expect in return for 'counsel')... anyway, reminds me of my own past loves.
one was too short-lived and far too far away ago to have even a rekindling of friendship or retouching of lives or whatever last night was for these two former lovers. for me and t-, we were young lovers. 17 and 17 and 17...
*dang*
sums up 17 pretty well eh...
and there was another. oh we devoured each other fantastically. what else can be said about 28 and 29? wall-crumbling fence-exploding years those.
and...what about...my Other, my other half for so long... my growing up lover. even after, he stayed with me for years in my dreams, my emotional guage. i almost saw him recently...
but no.
most likely close is what we'll have forever. no overdressed but not too overdressed late night martinis between laughs and stories of not-much after an eight year absence. no sloppy i'm sorries from him to me. no need for things like that, it wasn't like that for us. our time was...weightier...
then again, i shouldn't say what other lovers' loves were or weren't like. but ours...it was...e v e r y thing. it was our age our DNA. it was the mingling of blood. no, for us there will be no slow lingering or fingers fingers like those i saw last night - in a parking lot next to the spic-and-span explorer after the reunion. he's married now too. but married in a very different way maybe than my friend's ex. married in the soul. married. deep loving. deep being. but no room for the surprise grieving. for what's past. is it ever really past...? perhaps it all does pass...
shoo. or not. he just isn't interested in dredging up what was by touching our presents...our presence...
we always were different.
i mean, hey, i got my own next chaper even if it ain't in the cards, the late-night wow-wee how you be martini. i already had one or two too many parking lot goodbyes. tex-mex is on my schedule...and like my dad says about me and vin: 'you guys are a fitting pair : a coupla knuckeheads.' yo. word to your mama - or your ex.
one was too short-lived and far too far away ago to have even a rekindling of friendship or retouching of lives or whatever last night was for these two former lovers. for me and t-, we were young lovers. 17 and 17 and 17...
*dang*
sums up 17 pretty well eh...
and there was another. oh we devoured each other fantastically. what else can be said about 28 and 29? wall-crumbling fence-exploding years those.
and...what about...my Other, my other half for so long... my growing up lover. even after, he stayed with me for years in my dreams, my emotional guage. i almost saw him recently...
but no.
most likely close is what we'll have forever. no overdressed but not too overdressed late night martinis between laughs and stories of not-much after an eight year absence. no sloppy i'm sorries from him to me. no need for things like that, it wasn't like that for us. our time was...weightier...
then again, i shouldn't say what other lovers' loves were or weren't like. but ours...it was...e v e r y thing. it was our age our DNA. it was the mingling of blood. no, for us there will be no slow lingering or fingers fingers like those i saw last night - in a parking lot next to the spic-and-span explorer after the reunion. he's married now too. but married in a very different way maybe than my friend's ex. married in the soul. married. deep loving. deep being. but no room for the surprise grieving. for what's past. is it ever really past...? perhaps it all does pass...
shoo. or not. he just isn't interested in dredging up what was by touching our presents...our presence...
we always were different.
i mean, hey, i got my own next chaper even if it ain't in the cards, the late-night wow-wee how you be martini. i already had one or two too many parking lot goodbyes. tex-mex is on my schedule...and like my dad says about me and vin: 'you guys are a fitting pair : a coupla knuckeheads.' yo. word to your mama - or your ex.
posted by stacy muszynski at 12:31 AM
2 Comments:
aint that just the way it goes? aint it? fuck it, move on.
i know i know.
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