sick

i am sick of people saying of others: "s/he would never do that." "not my son." "not my neighbor." "not my girlfriend."

sickness.

tell me, why do people flagellate themselves alone, on their knees, over the toilet, in the strip club, even the young mother who grinds the grass of her front yard into a tight hard brown dirt trail she yo-yo's so often from her front door to her next-door neighbor's house for coke while her two kids watch cartoons in the living room, whereEVER... why can we not face our...weaknesses. why must we also damage others?

secrets...

people have issues. they have ideas. they have shame. they close doors for privacy. they do things they don't want you to know about. they lie for protection.

then, they get caught. take the guy in boston. the ex-priest.

they hold our hopes between skinny weakening arms.

then they lie some more.

churches, military, marriage, school, work, family. life. no place is secure. so the victim, goodness, if it sneaks out from under the bed, from the grave, from halfway around the world, out of the closet, is tied to a chair with heavy rope.

and sometimes, yeah, fear can make even the prosecution lie for protection. skin is paper thin.

the defence whips the victim. the prosecution smears shit inside the mouths of the defence.

liar! liar! they call. evil evil! they yell.

until goodness stands up and stares at the scaredycats who beat and yell and stand with fingers pointing.

"be strong," goodness says. "name your weakness and put down that weight. we are the same. let it go, take my hand." goodness might say these things if it could breathe.

but in our lifeworld, weakness is virulent and goodness does not take steroids or pills to puff up. choked and laying on the floor with weakness, its partner, its lover, gathering strength, is must struggle to its knees. goodness and weakness try to help each other up, push each other down.

sick.