a honk and a hi, that's what

what now? what's she doing now? eating half a piece of those half-baked brownies instead of reading, that's what. putting off till later what should be done RIGHT NOW, that's what. checking out that last piece of vince's russian poppy seed roll that he says still can't touch his mom's. it's not great, but it's not bad, either, and it is sitting on the counter. and she does hate to waste. mm, then there's the office that still needs cleaning and the file cabinet that still needs usin' and the stairs that still need runnin. how long's it been since she put on her running shoes, anyway--shhhhhh! did you hear that? the soft sneak of distraction. no. no running today. there's reading to be done. and thinking to be done. and there's a movie at the main around 1pm...flying daggers or some such thing. chinese. they're infiltrating. first japanimation now this. railroad workin slaves weren't enough. now what? now they want to live like the rest of us? what? what! what do you mean they want to be here and be seen? what do you mean it's a global world. global if i can shout around it and it comes back to me to slap me on the back, good job ol' buddy. that's usin your noodle. but what do you mean by global? by multi-cul-tur-a-lism? just what are you tryin to pull? what do you mean you talked to some 'nam vet at costco yesterday for 40 minutes afteryou got your tires filled and rotated? those rad bad 16 inchers, the ones on your piece of shit gm that you outta sell yesterday it's so on its last legs? what do you mean he's tall and proud and funny and sweet. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE DUDE! HE'S SNOWING YOU! what do you do all day that you yap with strangers in the costo tire store for god's sake? don't you have anything better to do? ooooooooooooh, whatta laugh...he wants you to dedicate your first book to him: "to one-legged jay, my friend from costco." what a joke. what a loon. what a retard. what do you mean he learned about the american government's agenda only after learning about the vietnamese history and culture when he sat down with them, when he learned their language. what's the point? what.is.your.point. what are you tryin to pull by tellin me he travelled around the world 2-and-a-half times as a professional soldier and got shot up in his own side's friendly fire and that's what put a bullet in his head--pinkish scar on black black skin (and he showed you!?)--his arm, ripped off one leg... what's this got to do with me? leave me out of it. this is YOUR trip, not mine. just what what what...oh he knows brian? the same brian you grew up one street away from? the one you hung out with all during those 10 years when you were making a life with jeff? the one who owns the pro shop at eastpointe bowl? that one-legged jay says brian lost about 80 pounds and looks good? huh. so what, this guy just goes around telling stories, is that it? how the hell did you figure out you know the same people? that's so bizarre. but what were the people in line at costco whispering to each other, the two a you blocking the space in front of the cash register, just uh-huhing and laughing and shootin the shit? what did they say when one-legged jay touched your shoulder and said, "shoo gal, i thought about going back to vietnam to live, where the women are held in respect. esteem. not like here where the men do and say whatever they want, treat em however they want, they got no golden rules in their head or their hearts." what else did this ol man--what, he's 58?--say...he used to be a skiier on the handicap circuit? he eats and exercises right to have a good, long life? he works for the v.a. couseling soldiers coming back from war so they can get back what they give? that he wishes you luck in school--his one regret is that he didn't get his advanced degrees. yet. what about it? what do you get out of it?

what now? she gets a "see ya later, professor...i'll tell brian you said hi...i'll see him again next week tuesday" and a honk of his truck as he pulls out of the parking lot. she gets a small twinge in the back of the brain somewhere that kicks up the volume a notch--it says, a whisper over all the white noise, "everyone you meet changes you forever." she heard it in some anomymous place by some anonymous person who lingers. that's what.

and you. what about you...what do you get?