secret fantasies

Eyes Wide Shut. ya seen it? in a beautifully decorated little bauble its "aboutness" if you ask me is human sexuality and attraction in the face of commitment. it's about masks and denial. it's about seeming and being--and lying and truthing. it's about--have you seen "6 Feet Under"? in a beautifully depressing little series of one-two punches by the olding-yet-lovely ma character in its first season (haven't gotten beyond it yet) we discover nearly the same thing: of course, we looooove our partners. sure we'd sure miss em when they're deeeeeeeead, but getting kinky with someone else who noooootices us once in a while, who has all the badabing and none of the strings, that's sure does entice. trouble is, it raises trouble. as it does for the couple in kubrick's EWS.

one apparent difference between the two stories, however, is the cheating mind versus the cheating...ahem...other, more tangible parts of the body.

what about 'fidelio' (psst: fidelity)? what about depravity dressed up like decadence? what about the essence of incredible, incredibly empty sex? what about the distance from here to there, when we're 6 feet under with our eyes wide shut?

do you tell? do you tell your fantasies to your beloved? do you consider the consequences and NOT tell your lover? do you do whatever the fuck you want and lie, even while telling your beloved "bu-bu-but baby, i've never lied to you!" and isn't it difficult to admit to being a liar simply because we don't want to acknowledge the difficult, uncomfortable and, well, slimy truth of it.

what do we tell...and who do we love...and what, really, do we want? how many people do YOU know who live with eyes wide open?